Smoke & God’s Love

As I sat outside guarding the smoker I noticed the smoke spiraling and curling up and out of the wooden pergula above. The day had been a hot one filled with coffee, job applications, house hunting and more. Oh, friends, my bones are weary. After last March, when I was diagnosed with anemia and IBS it has been hard getting up enough energy and stamina to make it through the day.

But God is with me and I shall make it through.

Oh, God is so good!

That smoke I was talking about earlier reminded me of praying.

When I pray about someone or something, the anxiety I’m feeling immediately just spirals up and away like smoke.

I rest in God’s love and trust that he will overcome my fears and anxieties.

Blessing #7: Jesus, Blue Skies, Dry Heat & Trips down Memory Lane

Today, has been a roller coaster of emotions for me.

The day began hot and cloudless the sun bathing down on the front garden like a magnifying glass refracting light, in a most piercing manner.

I started my day with coffee, which was good. I’ve been browsing around for coffee deals as this wedding planning is not nearly done. And ya know for planning and college classes, everyday, sometimes you just need a little perk up! I love African coffee and notes of chocolate, yes please!

Try Our Organic Bali Blue Moon Roast, Coupled With Rich Dark Chocolate Notes & A Spiced Finish

I sure didn’t start the day in a very healthy way, skipping breakfast.

I guess, nowadays, with my IBS it seems harder for me to eat because if I eat something that’s now low-fodmap I sometimes, literally double over in pain.

So, I became overwhelmed about my college financial aid, which, imagine my luck, I was chosen for financial verification. Which is a random selection… Arrgh. Skipping breakfast and having that to deal with that, I was such an emotional mess by 9:30 am. Thankfully, my

dear fianc√© held me while I cried. He’s so good and loving!

Then we prayed our morning Novena’s together, which is always such a beautiful and unifying thing for us.

That I think was the change I needed for my day to become brighter.

After we prayed, he went off to work and I was able to sit down and really get down to the nitty-gritty of my college class.

Which, I worked on for much of the afternoon and got a couple of assignments outta’ the way. Which was actually surprisingly successful! To my great relief. I scored a B on my 8 page APA essay, which I was happily surprised with.

I’ve been having some pain in my feet recently which I think is due to the heat, perhaps. I painted my toes for the first time in a coon’s age. I like the color it’s an ESSIE quick dry nail color.

I am absolutely thrilled about my fiance getting a teaching position at a high school. I think he’ll really enjoy that!

The wonderful thing is I have no idea where he’ll get a job and therefore where we’ll be living. I do hope we find out before August though. Being surprised about where you’ll be living is good. But being surprised about where you’ll be moving within a couple of days I think is a bit jarring.

Admittedly, I’m a little anxious about that.

In the early evening, I was able to go through some old boxes of mine in the attic and closets. What a treasure trove of different memories, I found, goodness! I used to be such an artist and I found so much of my art.

I also have this somewhat odd affinity for saving letters and cards that people have sent me. Kind of a bad habit, I guess. I even found my confirmation papers and several Catholic books about finding happiness while being single and prayers for your future husband. Golly gee, those books are all dog-eared and coffee stained. Haha, they sure served a purpose though! So, all in all, the trip down memory lane was one filled with great joy and many tears.

Well, until tomorrow my dear friends, I hope all is well ūüôā

Holding Tight

A letter slides from my desk. Containing painfully sad thoughts. Drawn up with an ink stamp insignia.

When you hold tight to this insignia, this name of known love.

Grasp it with all your life.

Sometimes it responds and sometimes it just belies.

Belies the time it was crafted.

Belies the scribes hand.

As a woman of love

I hold tight to that insignia.

Hoping, wishing,

It to return.

Will it see past all my heartache

To rekindle and burn?

I wish for those moments when we didn’t say a word.

The insignia.

We fought.

We loved.

The letters twisting to and fro.

Now it’s all I want

Now it’s all I’ve know.

How to press that insignia bright and curling to and fro.

When you hold tight to this insignia, this name you know and love.

Grasp it with all your life.

Going through turmoil and strife.

The insignia is your future.

Carefully wrought.

Carefully wrought and made, you wait.

Holding tight and wishing for it’s return.

Changes, Biking, setting My World on Fire

As my bike skidded to a stop in front of the library I felt the chill rain against my face. Rain is such a beautiful thing that cleanses away all the dirt and griminess. I see it as a refresh from what happens on a day to day basis. And Lord knows we all need to have a refresh. Eek.

I started a new part-time job at a hospital. It’s not a glamorous hospital job but it’s a job that pays, so I am very thankful. The position is as a dietary aid and my work involves a lot of dirty dishes. Which is a bit symbolic of my life right now. Erk, it is all kind of up in the air. Thankfully I have my hobbies that have proven great antidotes to my slight anxiety.

This week and last there’s been increased flooding in the Central Plains. It rained all of Memorial weekend. This Memorial weekend brought a lot of new changes in my life including a new love.

I jumped into painting again as a hobby which is a nice break from my work. My current medium of choice is watercolor. I haven’t done that many paintings, yet. I’m sure looking at one of my paintings you couldn’t tell the difference between them and chicken¬†scratches. But through time, they will change and I’m sure I will get better.

Lately, I have been biking a whole lot as my mode of transportation. Pedal biking that is. Burn calories and get places; what better way to get places. Hopefully, that will change someday after I get my license. Someday in a blue moon. Haha.

Since my relocation, I have been writing and reading more. A whole montage of different books.

I currently have on my desk Get a Financial Life- Personal Finance in your Twenties and Thirties. It’s proven to be quite informative. Hopefully, this will cause a change in my life sooner the better.

I dappled around in Diana Galbadon’s Voyager book which proved a bit too explicit for my reading tastes. Though I am a huge fan of Galbadon’s work and think she is truly a genius.

Also, I am working on getting my application in for a volunteer program abroad that I hope to do this Fall.

Currently, I am WiFi-less at my house and hopefully will be getting that set up on Thursday. Which is going to be such a relief.

Inspiration from Poppins: England

“Anything can happen if you let it.”

This somewhat comical and very inspirational song in Mary Poppins, my favorite Disney movie, though honestly, it’s a tossup with Beauty and the Beast. Mary Poppins is one of my favorite Disney heroines whose lyrics I try to live out. This song is so inspirational and urges you “to reach for the stars.” Everything about this song, I wish to emulate in my own life. “Life is out there¬†so go and get it, grab it by the collar.”

Thick Snow and Flannel

As I rolled over to look at my clock the chilly morning fell upon the house. The dawn came like a newlywed bride timidly awaiting her guests at the reception. The morning snowfalls listlessly surrounding the orchards stubble and the trees are cloaked like angels.

The chilly weather called for flannel, not just any flannel but blue flannel suits the weather I think. Vermont Flannel Company makes some amazing flannels!

The morning began with an intense ab workout and two cups of Guatemalan coffee. Hehe, Guatemalan coffee is quite good. And to shake up my breakfast routine with avocado toast! Then I did an ab workout that felt amazing and I’m seeing some great progress as far as that goes. Besides feeling amazing!

It’s a nice distraction to be fit. From the solitude of where I live. Distractions are good in my case. But I pick and choose wisely. Your health is everything and it’s important for me to keep the temple God has blessed me with as good and fit as I can.

Charcoal Thoughts

Abstract Face- Charcoal Thoughts

This morning I read some Irish and Scottish poetry. One of these poems by Thomas Parnell,¬†The Hermit, The Night-Piece on Death, and The Small Silver-Colored BookWorm.¬†Parnell uses one of my favorite literary terms, personification a lot. Reading poetry has always been an escape for me. It creates a different landscape to immerse myself in. A beautiful escape from your normal day-to-day life. And the most amazing thing is you can travel to another country or even another century or era! The language based on the poet’s time or persona can be so personal and even private to the reader. Poetry is emotional expressionism or even a description in verse.

Parnell interestingly enough was a Reverend, husband, and father. Though sadly his kin all died before him. He was an Anglo-Irish poet AND UNBENONCED TO ME was FRIENDS with one of my favorite writer’s, Swift, Gulliver’s Travels.¬†

If you haven’t read Gulliver’s Travels and you like imaginative tales, it is quite the read! About a man who becomes trapped on an island and pinned down and surrounded by little people! Definitely sure to give your imagination a workout.

I’m still on the college bandwagon, which honestly is quite unnerving! But, anyhow, hopefully, at any rate, it will come in handy, when the time comes, God-willing that time comes ;). Hope will carry us through.

I hope my poetry musings proved enlightening to your day.

Que Sera Sera!

-Magnificent27