A steady breeze comes in as I think about my upcoming wedding and the life after. I am actually pretty confident that I have everything for the wedding mostly planned. What a relief. I keep thinking back to when Kyril and I first messaged each other nearly 5 years ago. Wowzer!
So, days later, hairstyles later, nail colors later, we are now planning our wedding.
The reception will be held at a Catholic Church and afterwards a fun reception at a historical building.
I’m thinking of having carved out pumpkins as vases for bouquets of carnations and Queen Anne’s Lace.
Big lovely cream colored curtains draping from the vaulted ceiling.
We’ve chosen to have round tables. Not exactly sure they’ll be as stately as the one below. So let’s just focus on the tablecloth. I want all unique tablecloths of the same lace/needlework style that I find at thrift stores.
Literally, it’s going to be a ball! . . .
Good thing I’m not knitting. 😂
My fiancé says my puns have 5 degrees of separation. . . Maybe he’s right 😋
And homemade jam as the guest gifts. Which I’ll be making this summer!
Probably raspberry or blackberry jam.
There will be votive candles in pumpkins carved with hearts in the middle.
And votive candles on the guest tables. They’ll set a nice fall tone!
Whether these pictures become fact or fiction I will always know the truest part of a wedding is the ceremony and the uniting of two hearts.
That’s the most important part and I couldn’t be happier with my match! 🥰 ♥️
My hands trace the old Larch tree’s brunch in my yard. It’s a somber old, very old tree. I love that tree. It reminds me of one of my favorite childhood books, The Giving Treeby Shel Silverstein.
I think there’s quite a mysterious reflection there in trees that we take so for granted. Really if you reflect on Noah’s Arc and how that brought all of the animals and all of Noah’s family. All animals going two by two, and certain animals going seven by seven. The arc was built from wood. Wood brought humanity to life. Wood saved us from the flood. And if you want to go deeper into thinking about wood and the religious history. Which I am. Jesus, our Savior, was crucified on wood to sacrifice and give us life everlasting. That, I had never thought of, in that way. Quite an interesting reflection, I think.
Hurrah for new jobs!! Haha, I am so happy its Saturday evening after a trying week of job interviews I finally scored a great job! Hip-hip-hooray.While my job will be part-time I am hoping to stay on track with my college classes, as well.
In this semester my plan is to accomplish 4 classes successfully. I think my academics are at the front of my agenda, in my life, right now. Even though I have the goal of achieving this degree I am doing my best not to let life slip without smelling the roses. I think that’s something that often people overlook in this life, is just slowing down and enjoying nature and life as it is. Life in progress.
The whole point of growth is “pain” or struggle getting there and once you get there, what then?
You enjoy your accomplishment; but, all the struggle of accomplishing is done.
Why not stop and enjoy the roses of struggle that are planted right in your home, your being, your mind, right now.
Go back to school, go to therapy for your disability, read books to improve your memory. You have endurance, you can achieve your goals.
Maybe, I’m just talking to myself, but I think this could be a sliver of hope for someone else. Maybe just the push they needed to keep persevering, to keep hope in their abilities, to stop and smell the flowers.
Struggle is life and we are all strong enough to fight our own struggles.
Believe in yourself and what you can achieve. You can fight the struggle. You can fight the pain. You can succeed.
Believe you can achieve!
“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”
My vacation, when I was a child, to Dog-man’s Beach, Puerto Rico was fabulous!
I remember walking along the beach. The sand is so soft to walk barefoot in. One day I mistakenly decided to cover my body completely up in sand, for a photo shot. BAD IDEA. Eek 😬
Though kinda comical for a KS girl to be unaware of sand fleas!!! Yeah, not one of my brighter moments.
( embarassed blush, shoulder shiver)
The photo was great though! 😜
One night, we had a personal chef come to our “vacation home“ and make us rainbow trout and a bread fruit dish. That was awesome!
Bread fruit tastes almost like a mixture between sweet potatoes and corn tortillas. Yeah blan flavor, for sure. Despite this, the chef cooked an incredible dish with it!
One beautiful day, my family went scuba diving. Totally cool! I’ve never been and currently with my conditions I won’t be able to. Having a VP Shunt requires that you avoid scuba diving, martial arts (I was actually interested in learning Ju-Jitsu, so I guess that’s out), gymnastics and dance, and you’re not gonna believe this one—-GOLF!
So I carry that burden that I can’t dance or play golf. I really don’t give two cents about playing golf though, so that’s good. I am upset to learn that dancing is out. I think I’ll research that more because I REALLY want to dance at my wedding!
Back to beautiful PR…
My family and I also went out to a German restaurant in the main square that was INCREDIBLE!!
As I sip a steaming cup of strong dark Sumatran coffee I muse over my new e-textbook, “Mental Health and Case Management”.
Before I get into that, pigeons make the coolest noises. There’s a nest of them outside my window and I love hearing them while I’m writing. I think they’re rooting… or rather cooing, for me to finish my degree ;).
I am reading this book as a prerequisite for my degree in psychology. I intend to use this degree to pursue a Master’s in Counseling. I am thrilled to be pursuing this as I have always been intrigued with the counseling career, though, have struggled with self-confidence. By a stroke of coincidence, I began living in a household with a counseling student for a roomie. And thus gained the confidence I needed.
Back to the textbook. So far I’ve learned that case management is no 9-5, walk-in-the-park, kinda job. The time you need to dedicate to your clients is, as I’m guessing, quite exhausting. Case managers are essential to the psychiatric rehabilitation of an individual and are fundamental to their recovery.
The really wonderful part about this job, that I think is so in-line with my thinking, is respecting and empowering individuals. Celebrating small successes to give your clients hope and courage to strive to become better. This career is about giving your clients compassion and empathy everyday. Not to be overly BOLD in saying this but that is literally my calling card. I love loving people.
I haven’t finished the textbook yet, so more later. Next up I’m delving into a chapter on “Medications and Managing Psychotic Disorders”.
To rekindle with a friend from long ago is such a blessing.
This morning I awoke to the sun streaming in my window. Kind of a shock when your so used to waking before the sun. But all in all I feel very blessed today. I visited the church which I unfortunately missed mass this morning due to changing mass times.
This morning being Sunday and since I’m trying to up my protein intake I made pecan brown sugar pancakes.
With my camo ball cap pulled over my bun, I spray the Ozium deodorizer in my room I make for the exit. 30 minutes later I return to clean fresh air.
This reminds me of patience some things in life take time. And some things require prudent decision making. Airing out decisions. Like relationships take time and reflection when jumping into a new one.
The pinnacle of any relationship I find now, is relating to the same thing. If you can’t relate to the same things or understand each others decisions then the relationship is bound for trouble. I’m by no means condoning relationships that don’t share this, just making an observation.
After every relationship you need to clean the air clean; your heart. This allows space for just the right someone to show up in your life. But in order to clean the air, as in with the deodorizer, you have to put away everything edible. Similar to putting away all those memories you’ve made before; like a romantic house cleaning for your heart.
Breathing clean air is important for your heart. Clean everything and pray for the perfect match.
I sit drinking a steaming cup of Gunpowder green tea, reflecting on life’s stupendous way of confusing and closing relationships. Reflecting on my childhood and the way it’s shaped my life. The way I’ve grown up and developed as a Child of God. How I am so close to something great yet so far away? In the state of status viatoris. The inherent “not yet.”
My relationships with others are changing as I grow older. People drift in and out of our lives like clouds. But some people are like the sun or moon, always returning. That’s what we’re all looking for in this world somebody to be our sun or moon.
So, my current relationship status is committed and true. My sun and my moon, forever. I don’t have to worry about him leaving me or not forgiving me in my deepest sin. I read his love story and learn from his Book. He has uncovered new worlds for me and opened my eyes to wonderful things. He is my beginning and my ending.
I’ve been reading a book by Rick Warren called The Purpose Driven Life. He relates our life here in this world similar to having a green card. Our life on this Earth is like having a green card. Such a succinct and powerful comparison really makes you think about how you spend your time. The gravity of how everything affects your salvation. It’s really incredible and eye-opening to think about.
I was watching, In Plain Sight, last night and a comment that Raphael said to Mary, that really stuck out to me.
“Life isn’t short. It’s long and honestly, I don’t know if you love me enough to make this work.”
I think human relationships are like that. Love is soooo powerful and loving someone for life is a challenge in many ways than one. And is it not coincidental that his names Raphael like the Angel. My favorite Guardian Angel, in fact.
In the book, Faith Hope Love, by Josef Pieper, I’m reading, it reflects on love. He reflects that the common element of all the forms of love: approval.
Thomas Aquinas says,
We cannot help desiring felicity.
Another line from Josef Pieper’s book,
Perfection always means transformation as well. Fire as the symbol of love.
So patience, always, is required to love.
The clouds are moving fast today the weather’s changing.